


Hold my Hand

by AleishaDreams



Category: Free!
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-22
Updated: 2014-09-22
Packaged: 2018-02-18 10:27:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2345069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AleishaDreams/pseuds/AleishaDreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In Haru's opinion, holding hands is really underrated in this world.</p>
<p>He never thought about it until he realized he had this urgent need to hold Makoto's hand.</p>
<p>To feel the warm, soft and strong hand over his.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold my Hand

Haru considers himself a simple man with simple needs and desires. Is there water he can swim in? He’s happy. Is there mackerel for dinner? He’s happy. Can he wear his swimsuit under his clothes? He’s happy. A simple man with simple needs and desires.

Nonetheless, there is a wish – or is it desire? – That he simply can’t ignore anymore. A wish he has since his younger days because it simply stopped happening.

He wants to hold hands with Makoto.

Sure, it looks and sounds like a rather simplistic and childish wish – desire – for a high-schooler like him but he can’t help it.

When they were young, during kindergarten and early elementary school, Makoto used to held his hand now and then – mainly when the brunette was scared of something – but he stopped doing it in the second year of elementary school. And what is worse it’s that he stopped because Haru himself asked him to stop.

Everybody knows that Haru doesn’t like his full name – Haruka – and that’s why he always asked to be called Nanase, and so it’s no secret that he doesn’t like being called “Haru-chan” – Nagisa is a lost case, though -. At that moment, in elementary school, holding hands seemed childish, something only little kids should do. And he didn’t like being a little kid.

But now everything is different. Haru doesn’t know if it’s because of these so called “hormones” or because he misses the old days, but he so wishes that Makoto would hold his hand once again.

Whenever they are walking back home, this urgent need to hold hands with his friend appears in his chest and, obviously, hand. Like a pressing, like something pulling every single nerve of his fingers, even making them twitch at the thought. Of course he would never admit this because he was the one who asked him to stop doing so.

But little Haru would have never guessed that teenager Haru would be likely dying to hold hands again. Little Haru didn’t know that teenager Haru would fall in love with teenager Makoto. How could he know? When little Makoto was such a giant dork – he still is, but that’s beside the point -.

Everybody thinks that it’s Haru who is always on the moon, not paying attention to anything around him, but actually is Makoto who is oblivious of his surroundings. There are rumors in school – maybe even in the whole town – that they two may be something more… “deeper” than friends because the way they act around each other. And Makoto rejecting every single girl that confesses to him doesn’t help either. But Haru doesn’t take his friend’s actions towards him as a way of showing romantic feelings to him, he knows Makoto well enough to know that Makoto is simply that way, he likes to help everybody, be nice to everybody and always smile to everybody. In fact, that’s why a lot of people confess to him, because they mistake his kindness with flirting.

“I feel awful, that girl even cried a little” Makoto says as they walk back home, after swimming practice, and the sun is setting itself on the horizon. He’s talking about a girl he had to reject earlier “To be honest, I don’t even know her name…” that’s quite a shock, taking in consideration that Iwatobi is a small place. But that just talks about how Makoto’s kindness can surpass even that, he would help anyone without even knowing their name.

“Maybe she thought she actually had a chance” Haru responds with his usual monotonous voice. This brings Makoto to laugh lightly.

“Honestly, I don’t see what people see on me, I’m not even that special” what a lot of bullshit, Haru thinks.

“Maybe it’s because you treat everybody nice” the blue-eyed shrugs.

“What am I supposed to do then, Haru? Treat people badly?”

“I didn’t say that” but he also doesn’t have any other suggestion. He would prefer people not noticing Makoto, but that’s almost impossible for the mere fact that he’s huge.

“Well, either way, it’s not like I can change like that” he stretches his arms in front with his hands interlacing. Haru watches in silence.

It just happened one day. One day in second year of high school when they were cleaning the pool. That’s when Haru noticed Makoto’s hands for the first time in years. They are big and look strong enough to punch someone out, but are actually use to caress little kittens on the street, or to braid his little sister’s hair, or to help the old lady that lives near his house. Haru sometimes wonders how those hands feel like, how soft are they? How warm are they? Would the warm spread through his whole body or just in his hand?

The needy need in Haru’s hand makes its presence again when Makoto places his own hand to his side. They are so close and yet so far, he could simply stretch his fingers a few millimeters and they would be touching, just stretch his pinky finger and lace it with Makoto’s. In TV they always puts the first kiss as something mind-blowing, a unique experience, a once in a life-time event that makes you see fireworks. And Haru is sure that it is like that, but he also thinks that holding hands is something so special and hugely underrated. He sometimes doesn’t understand why people don’t talk much about it. Sure, a kiss is important, but holding hands is the first step for that. Holding hands is about letting someone be physical with you, it’s even deeper than a hug, you can hug anybody, but holding hands is a different thing. Holding hands is something even deeper than a kiss if you analyze it, people sometimes kiss each other without thinking much about it – there’s even a game called “spin the bottle” for that- but holding hands was reserved for loved ones, be it family or be it lovers.

“Do you have that problem, Haru?” the water-boy reacts when his name comes from Makoto’s lips “You know, people confessing to you?”

What kind of question is that? The brunette knows perfectly that nobody has confessed to him.

“No” Haru simply responds, not wanting to indulge further in the subject.

“Yeah, I guessed that much” rude “People don’t understand you, Haru, not like I do, at least, but that’s because we’ve been together for so long” Makoto stops talking for a moment and then resumes “They can’t see how special you are”

Makoto saying that doesn’t surprise Haru. Not because he’s being conceited, but because it’s not the first time Makoto says it. This is also part of the “Makoto Way”, flattering Haruka almost every day. Other people would think that Makoto is flirting with them, but Haru knows best. He can see the difference, flattering Haru doesn’t make Makoto a puddle of embarrassment, but whenever Nagisa talks about love and bees Makoto gets all flustered at the idea of having a partner.

“Why don’t you take the chance and get a girlfriend when someone confesses to you?” Haru asks. Not because he’s in love with his friend that means that he wishes Makoto doesn’t find his “special one”.

“It just doesn’t feel right, I mean—“ he lets go a sigh “Of course I’ve thought of that, getting a girlfriend, but whenever I imagine myself with someone, it doesn’t feel right” he looks at Haru “It should feel magical or something, doesn’t it?”

“I don’t know, I guess” actually, Haru knows perfectly well that. When he is with Makoto, the world seems lighter, more special, and even if things aren’t going that well, he knows that he can rely on Makoto being there for him to pick him up and he knows that he would do the same for his friend.

“It’s always like that in the movies” the brunette chuckles “With discreet looks, awkward flirting, the first kiss…”

“Holding hands” Haruka says without thinking, and when he realizes that Makoto is already looking at him.

“Holding hands? I’ve never thought about it” he looks up to the sky “I guess it’s also special, holding hands with your loved one… well, the last person I’ve hold hands with is you, Haru” a laugh escaped from his lips.

The memory of them holding hands makes Haru’s cheeks taint with a faint red color.

“You remember?” Makoto continues “When we were children we used to hold hands all the time, well, more like I always took your hand” he nervously laughs at that “I was such a scaredy cat back then… well, nowadays too, but back then it was even worse” more laughs.

“I…” Haru starts talking, making the brunette to look at him “I haven’t hold hands with anyone, neither” his fingers slightly twitch and he gets mad at himself for getting embarrassed, it’s not like he’s confessing or something, God damn it.

“Now that I think about it, I guess I’ve hold hands with Ren and Ran, but that would be completely different from a lover, right?” Makoto holds his hand up to look at it, moving the fingers a little “It should feel different, right?” Haru’s heart starts beating fast.

“How would I know? I’ve never held hands like that” he replies as he tucks his hands on his pants’ pockets, trying to repress the urgent feeling of grabbing Makoto’s.

“Of course” the green-eyed smile that calm and happy smile of his “Haru doesn’t like that, that’s why you have only held hands with me”

Makoto should shut up right now.

“That’s because you were the one grabbing me”

“Yeah, because I felt safe holding your hand, like everything would be alright if you were there with me”

Makoto should really shut up right now.

“Of course, I still think and feel like that, but I don’t need to hold your hand like that anymore”

Just shut your mouth, Makoto.

“What do you think, Haru?”

Haru thinks Makoto is an idiot for talking like that about him and for making him feel this embarrassed about fucking holding hands.

“I don’t know” he simply replies “I don’t really care” his eyes look another way, evading the green eyes that are fixed on him.

“Eh? So mean, Haru” Makoto whines with fake hurt.

“You talk about it like I’m your boyfriend or something” Haruka murmurs, again without thinking.

“Mmmh? You may be right” Makoto once again looks up to the sky “Maybe that’s why I can’t accept those girls’ feelings, because I compare them to you, Haru”

“Don’t compare me to girls” the brunette laughs.

“No, Haru, not like that, but what I feel for you in comparison of what I feel for them” he scratches his cheek “What I mean is that having a partner should feel kind of what I feel whenever I’m with you, doesn’t it?”

Now it’s when Haru finally realizes something.

This giant dork is in love with him.

But he’s much of an idiot to even realize that by himself. Well, Haru doesn’t completely blame him for that, when Haru discovered his love for the brunette it was kind of a surprise to him too. Maybe because they’ve lived their whole lives together, they are so used to being together all the time that the mere idea of being in love didn’t pass their minds. Haruka realized he was in love with Makoto when he started to have romantic dreams about him and even then it took him a while to conclude that.

But anyways, what could Haru do now with this new brand information? Should he confess? But what would happen? Makoto hasn’t realized he’s in love with Haruka, so maybe it would get awkward between them? But what if not?

His heartbeat feels like someone is punching him on the chest, so wild and constant, like it would never go away. And his hands are a nervous wreck; they even are a little sweaty.

“Haru?” Makoto calls him name when they arrive to the stairs, where they’ll separate ways “You got silent all of the sudden, it’s something wrong?”

This is it.

This is going to happen.

“Makoto” Haruka calls him with a gulp in his throat.

“Yes, Haru?”

The blue-eyed slowly takes his hands out of the pockets, still staring at those green eyes that are looking at him with curiosity.

“Let’s… Let’s hold hands” his voice sounds almost like a whisper.

“What?” his face reflects confusion “So suddenly, Haru, but why?”

“Just do it” he now offers his hand, waiting for the other student to reciprocate.

The brunette, still looking confuse, slowly grabs Haru’s hand, who interlaced their fingers immediately.

Haru feels like his heart just exploded.

A rush of emotions fills his whole body starting from his hand. His breath stops the moment he feels Makoto’s hand, which is warm and soft like he had imagined. A firm grip that makes him feel like his soul just died and then returned to his body. His gut is a wreck, a knot of nerves that refuse to untie itself. His heart beating like it wants to escape out of his body and his face painfully burning because of all the blood that concentrates there.

Haruka then looks at Makoto, to those green eyes that are staring at their interlaced hands like they are some kind of art form in a museum. He was also blushing. Is he feeling the same as him? What is he thinking?

“I love you”

It escapes from Haru’s lips in a soft whisper, almost unnoticeable and unheard, but strong enough for Makoto to turn his eyes towards Haru’s. The blue-eyed recognizes that look, it’s the same he had when he realized he was in love with Makoto. It’s filled of surprise, amazement, curiosity, and wonder.

Makoto is probably asking himself how in hell he didn’t realize it sooner.

“I…” the taller student says “I didn’t—I just—“

“Makoto” the called is now staring at him “Don’t think it, just say it”

“I love you”

It’s also a soft whisper, but it reaches Haru’s ears and finally it reaches his heart that just exploded for a second time. His guts finally untie itself and a wave of blissfulness covers his body, making his breath once again a peaceful and normal one.

“I love you, I love you since forever” Makoto repeats, he sounds like he’s about to cry.

“I know, Makoto, me too” Haruka smiles and then feels how Makoto tightens the grip in their hands.

“I’ll never let go, Haru”

“It’s a promise”

**Author's Note:**

> Holding hands has always been in my "intimate things to do with your partner" book, and I thought that Haru would be same because he doesn't really like being touched.
> 
> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Comments are really appreciated.


End file.
